Comments for Living Within Samsara http://samsara.ihostyou.com Embracing the Journey Fri, 24 May 2013 07:26:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.6 Comment on Sober without Alcoholics Anonymous by samsara http://samsara.ihostyou.com/sober-without-alcoholics-anonymous/#comment-203180 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:06:17 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/sober-without-alcoholics-anonymous/#comment-203180 Crap Molly - I really hope you subscribed to this thread cause I totally missed you from last year. >> In my opinion, many people define ’sobriety’ as ‘AA’… But I see AA as a tool for sobriety.. along with yoga, exercise, culling healthy relationships, getting sleep, eating well, doing good work in society and at my job.<< Rarely do we make it our sole vocation [says the Big Book somewhere]. And you are right! AA IS only a tool. To worship AA or bend to it? Please. If I were gonna do that, at least I'd get a buzz on if I went back to worshipping alcohol. AA enabled me to find the steps; the steps enabled me to find myself; to find GOD/PEACE/SANITY. And none of my God, Peace, or Sanity comes close to telling me to worship all things AA. Nope. >>‘Sobriety’ is a life in balance, and how can I be balanced when the overriding focus is AA rather than living in the connection and groundedness I’ve found in sobriety?<< Precisely so! :-) >>This is a crazy long post.. thanks for reading.. I’m needing clarity after telling my sponsor I took a week off from meetings to tend to other aspects of my life that’ve been neglected- car maintenance, pruning trees, procuring client work, walking my dogs. She now insists that my behavior is 100% my disease trying to kill me rather than my higher power guiding me to a more balanced state.<< This makes me pissin' mad when 'sponsors' adopt the brainwashing and then try to put it on people who are gaining clarity. I'd ask a sponsor who said that to me, "So my disease is wanting me to be responsible for my life? Wow. I thought it was trying to destroy it." THEN I'd get another sponsor. I'd love to have that disease of yours Molly. I have a yard that needs raking as I type. :) >>AA seems to promote- “Find a higher power but that power better be in freakin’ agreement with the AA agenda or you’re a goner!” Anyone have experience with this??<< Yeah, the FELLOWSHIP of AA can certainly do a fine job of passing their own egos down. SO this is why I wanted to differentiate between the program and the folks. By the way - I moved this blog and wanna slowly start migrating people there. I might move these comments there also. Here is the new page for this one: http://www.livingsamsara.com/sober-without-alcoholics-anonymous/ *You can continue commenting here and once I've moved the comments over to THERE, I'll do a redirect of this page to automatically go there se we can continue. This is a great discussion [over the span of 7 years!] Crap Molly - I really hope you subscribed to this thread cause I totally missed you from last year.

>> In my opinion, many people define ’sobriety’ as ‘AA’… But I see AA as a tool for sobriety.. along with yoga, exercise, culling healthy relationships, getting sleep, eating well, doing good work in society and at my job.< <

Rarely do we make it our sole vocation [says the Big Book somewhere]. And you are right! AA IS only a tool. To worship AA or bend to it? Please. If I were gonna do that, at least I'd get a buzz on if I went back to worshipping alcohol.

AA enabled me to find the steps; the steps enabled me to find myself; to find GOD/PEACE/SANITY.

And none of my God, Peace, or Sanity comes close to telling me to worship all things AA. Nope.

>>‘Sobriety’ is a life in balance, and how can I be balanced when the overriding focus is AA rather than living in the connection and groundedness I’ve found in sobriety?< <

Precisely so! :-)

>>This is a crazy long post.. thanks for reading.. I’m needing clarity after telling my sponsor I took a week off from meetings to tend to other aspects of my life that’ve been neglected- car maintenance, pruning trees, procuring client work, walking my dogs. She now insists that my behavior is 100% my disease trying to kill me rather than my higher power guiding me to a more balanced state.< <

This makes me pissin' mad when 'sponsors' adopt the brainwashing and then try to put it on people who are gaining clarity.

I'd ask a sponsor who said that to me, "So my disease is wanting me to be responsible for my life? Wow. I thought it was trying to destroy it." THEN I'd get another sponsor.

I'd love to have that disease of yours Molly. I have a yard that needs raking as I type. :)

>>AA seems to promote- “Find a higher power but that power better be in freakin’ agreement with the AA agenda or you’re a goner!” Anyone have experience with this??< <

Yeah, the FELLOWSHIP of AA can certainly do a fine job of passing their own egos down. SO this is why I wanted to differentiate between the program and the folks.

By the way - I moved this blog and wanna slowly start migrating people there. I might move these comments there also. Here is the new page for this one: http://www.livingsamsara.com/sober-without-alcoholics-anonymous/

*You can continue commenting here and once I’ve moved the comments over to THERE, I’ll do a redirect of this page to automatically go there se we can continue. This is a great discussion [over the span of 7 years!]

]]> Comment on Sober without Alcoholics Anonymous by samsara http://samsara.ihostyou.com/sober-without-alcoholics-anonymous/#comment-203179 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 19:45:24 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/sober-without-alcoholics-anonymous/#comment-203179 Thanks Grateful! I love it when another member sees that too!! "The program should be in the meeting. Too many meetings get it backwards. That’s my two cents worth." Mine too!! Amen brother!! "We recover by the steps we take - not the meetings we make." Have a friend who was there at least once a day and sometimes twice. Considering that the group she was in had a lot of 'non program' in the meetings, it's no surprise she stayed in a consistent state of relapse for what I believe was over 3 years. After we got together, I am pleased to report she has nearly two years sober and is NOW a happy camper and not always seeming to hold on by the nails of her fingers. She still attends meetings and fellowships but she does no longer puts them in a position of authority over her. She has a new authority she calls God. Thanks again Grateful! Thanks Grateful! I love it when another member sees that too!!

“The program should be in the meeting. Too many meetings get it backwards. That’s my two cents worth.”

Mine too!! Amen brother!!

“We recover by the steps we take - not the meetings we make.”

Have a friend who was there at least once a day and sometimes twice. Considering that the group she was in had a lot of ‘non program’ in the meetings, it’s no surprise she stayed in a consistent state of relapse for what I believe was over 3 years.

After we got together, I am pleased to report she has nearly two years sober and is NOW a happy camper and not always seeming to hold on by the nails of her fingers. She still attends meetings and fellowships but she does no longer puts them in a position of authority over her. She has a new authority she calls God.

Thanks again Grateful!

]]> Comment on Sober without Alcoholics Anonymous by Grateful http://samsara.ihostyou.com/sober-without-alcoholics-anonymous/#comment-202531 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 16:46:36 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/sober-without-alcoholics-anonymous/#comment-202531 Right on! The basic text of our society repeatedly states that I am beyond human aid. It is also the "the story of how many thousands of men and woman have RECOVERED FROM ALCHOLHISM. (Found on the title page of AA Big Book) So how is going to a "meeting" with a bunch of humans who are powerless over alcohol going to solve my problem? It won't. I have a spiritual malady that only God can fix. Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. An AA group is not a power greater than myself. We recover by the steps we take - not the meetings we make. Ninety meetings in ninety days is a lot of fellowship. Personally I'd rather have the solution which I found in "this our basic text" where the precise clear cut instructions are laid out. Thanks for distinguishing between the program (fist 164 pages in the Book of AA), and the fellowship. The fellowship is what I do before and after meetings. The program should be in the meeting. Too many meetings get it backwards. That's my two cents worth. Note to Bob's comment: You can't put your life back together. Only God can. Your best thinking got you into the rooms of AA. A Grateful Recovered Alcoholic Right on! The basic text of our society repeatedly states that I am beyond human aid. It is also the “the story of how many thousands of men and woman have RECOVERED FROM ALCHOLHISM. (Found on the title page of AA Big Book) So how is going to a “meeting” with a bunch of humans who are powerless over alcohol going to solve my problem? It won’t. I have a spiritual malady that only God can fix. Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. An AA group is not a power greater than myself. We recover by the steps we take - not the meetings we make. Ninety meetings in ninety days is a lot of fellowship. Personally I’d rather have the solution which I found in “this our basic text” where the precise clear cut instructions are laid out. Thanks for distinguishing between the program (fist 164 pages in the Book of AA), and the fellowship. The fellowship is what I do before and after meetings. The program should be in the meeting. Too many meetings get it backwards. That’s my two cents worth. Note to Bob’s comment: You can’t put your life back together. Only God can. Your best thinking got you into the rooms of AA.
A Grateful Recovered Alcoholic

]]> Comment on What People Think of Me is None of my Business by Genia http://samsara.ihostyou.com/what-people-think-of-me-is-none-of-my-business/#comment-202503 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 11:41:02 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/what-people-think-of-me-is-none-of-my-business/#comment-202503 <strong>Genia...</strong> What People Think of Me is None of my Business... Genia…

What People Think of Me is None of my Business…

]]> Comment on Manifesting into Physical Existence by Trampas Graham http://samsara.ihostyou.com/manifesting-into-physical-existence/#comment-198437 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 23:38:32 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/manifesting-into-physical-existence/#comment-198437 I just happened upon your site this evening. It is exactly what I was looking for, and I wanted to thank you for that. You are deeply appreciated! I just happened upon your site this evening. It is exactly what I was looking for, and I wanted to thank you for that. You are deeply appreciated!

]]> Comment on Help an Alcoholic to Stop Drinking by Debbie http://samsara.ihostyou.com/help-an-alcoholic-stop-drinking/#comment-193866 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 21:28:21 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/help-an-alcoholic-stop-drinking/#comment-193866 My parents are 69 (mum) and 72 (dad). Their alcoholism has escalated over the past 15 years. I'm not capable of detaching myself - they are my parents. I know this disease is killing them both and it won't be much longer before I have no parents at all. I just wish I could make them see for these last few years - to have my parents back - just for a while. How can I stand by and let them drink themselves to death...? It's so terribly heartbreaking and I don't know what to do. I attended a meeting of Al-Anon tonight and they say I should detach and think of myself. Well, I'm not the one who's dying and wasting the last precious years of my life. I don't understand why this substance is so beloved while their children are left to grieve and watch as they slide into the abyss. Heartbroken. My parents are 69 (mum) and 72 (dad). Their alcoholism has escalated over the past 15 years. I’m not capable of detaching myself - they are my parents. I know this disease is killing them both and it won’t be much longer before I have no parents at all.
I just wish I could make them see for these last few years - to have my parents back - just for a while. How can I stand by and let them drink themselves to death…? It’s so terribly heartbreaking and I don’t know what to do. I attended a meeting of Al-Anon tonight and they say I should detach and think of myself. Well, I’m not the one who’s dying and wasting the last precious years of my life. I don’t understand why this substance is so beloved while their children are left to grieve and watch as they slide into the abyss. Heartbroken.

]]> Comment on Help an Alcoholic to Stop Drinking by ashley http://samsara.ihostyou.com/help-an-alcoholic-stop-drinking/#comment-193389 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 18:08:40 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/help-an-alcoholic-stop-drinking/#comment-193389 I am in CANADA and I have a friend that lives in USA, he has no family , HIS FAMILY has all turned on him, and are also addicted to alcohol and drugs. I am far away but want to help, he wants help but just making ends meet to have a roof over his head. ANY advice or tips I can do to help my friend I am in CANADA and I have a friend that lives in USA, he has no family , HIS FAMILY has all turned on him, and are also addicted to alcohol and drugs.
I am far away but want to help, he wants help but just making ends meet to have a roof over his head.

ANY advice or tips I can do to help my friend

]]> Comment on What is Codependency? by Codependant define | Goldengatecons http://samsara.ihostyou.com/what-is-codependency/#comment-190919 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 15:26:09 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/what-is-codependency/#comment-190919 [...] What is Codependency?co-dependent or codependent adj. Mutually dependent. Of or relating to a relationship in which one person is psychologically dependent in an unhealthy. [...] […] What is Codependency?co-dependent or codependent adj. Mutually dependent. Of or relating to a relationship in which one person is psychologically dependent in an unhealthy. […]

]]> Comment on Done with Alcoholics Anonymous by Daniel http://samsara.ihostyou.com/done-with-alcoholics-anonymous/#comment-190838 Thu, 26 Jul 2012 22:28:00 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/done-with-alcoholics-anonymous/#comment-190838 Hi, I don't know if this will be posted. I'm just coming back and am going into methadone withdrawal. I got this guys phone number at a "slipper's" meeting. I forget now why, but after I asked for his phone number. I am a bit gun shy of the black and white- "here is what you have to do". I just wanted a number in case I would be in bad withdrawal and to have support ie talk to someone. After the 3d time I called him- he started telling me what I had to do. I agreed with him on most things. Then he told me to "write down how you would like your higher power or God to be". First off- I did not like this way of simplifying God into things I would like this mystery to be- I can give it attributes. Second- I was not asking him to be my sponsor. So I told him this. He really started hitting me with questions and sort of boasting about how "willing" he is, without letting me express myself. Despite agreeing with him, there was one thing he could not accept. I am struggling with withdrawals- I cannot tell him I will go to this or that meeting because I have no idea how bad things will get. He came up with all the slogans. Aggressively. BUT, when I drew the line with his request to make up my God, I told him that I was not looking for a sponsor. It was more after this that he was hammering me. He ended up saying that there was no point in talking to me- basically because I wanted support, someone to talk to if need be, and I was trying to get used to calling people. So he cut me off. No more was I to call him. First, I am overly sensitive, especially for a guy. I was very upset- inside - sort of crushed and I was scared. I have been so grateful for every day that I wake up and do not have to dose. In the day, I thank whatever this was that made it such that I woke up last week and decided to stop. I have to take it a day at a time. If I start thinking about not making it to an evening meeting, or a particular meeting- then I will start thinking I am a failure. This is followed by such fear that I am doomed to using again. He was making some points that I may need to work on, but the way he went about it was by beating me up. I don't feel like going back to AA, or getting phone numbers. Reading your site helped me put things into perspective. I pray that I will become willing to do things- more and more- and leave my comfort zone. I do not want to relapse because it will be the end. Thanks so much for this site Hi, I don’t know if this will be posted. I’m just coming back and am going into methadone withdrawal. I got this guys phone number at a “slipper’s” meeting. I forget now why, but after I asked for his phone number. I am a bit gun shy of the black and white- “here is what you have to do”. I just wanted a number in case I would be in bad withdrawal and to have support ie talk to someone. After the 3d time I called him- he started telling me what I had to do. I agreed with him on most things. Then he told me to “write down how you would like your higher power or God to be”. First off- I did not like this way of simplifying God into things I would like this mystery to be- I can give it attributes. Second- I was not asking him to be my sponsor. So I told him this. He really started hitting me with questions and sort of boasting about how “willing” he is, without letting me express myself. Despite agreeing with him, there was one thing he could not accept. I am struggling with
withdrawals- I cannot tell him I will go to this or that meeting because I have no idea how bad things will get. He came up with all the slogans. Aggressively. BUT, when I drew the line with his request to make up my God, I told him that I was not looking for a sponsor. It was more after this that he was hammering me. He ended up saying that there was no point in talking to me- basically because I wanted support, someone to talk to if need be, and I was trying to get used to calling people. So he cut me off. No more was I to call him. First, I am overly sensitive, especially for a guy. I was very upset- inside - sort of crushed and I was scared. I have been so grateful for every day that I wake up and do not have to dose. In the day, I thank whatever this was that made it such that I woke up last week and decided to stop. I have to take it a day at a time. If I start thinking about not making it to an evening meeting, or a particular meeting- then I will start thinking I am a failure.
This is followed by such fear that I am doomed to using again.
He was making some points that I may need to work on, but the way he went about it was by beating me up. I don’t feel like going back to AA, or getting phone numbers. Reading your site helped me put things into perspective. I pray that I will become willing to do things- more and more- and leave my comfort zone. I do not want to relapse because it will be the end. Thanks so much for this site

]]> Comment on Help an Alcoholic to Stop Drinking by A loving WIFE http://samsara.ihostyou.com/help-an-alcoholic-stop-drinking/#comment-190547 Tue, 24 Jul 2012 08:34:40 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/help-an-alcoholic-stop-drinking/#comment-190547 Hello, I have been in search for some answers on trying to help my husband to stop drinking. It has been very hard.. He keeps on telling me that it is in his DNA to drink since his estranged father was an alcoholic. He says that is why he drinks but he has never really meet his dad. He goes by stories that is told to him by this mother. We have been together for two years now and I have been trying so hard to tell him that he needs help but to no success. He says that he can beat this on his own and that he does not need the help. He can go days something weeks for not drinking but then for no reason will drink or look for a reason to drink. It is killing me inside since I am in the medical field and I know the damage that it does to the body in whole. the other night I had to go to work and when I came home the liqueur that was in the house was gone. He was not drunk to the point where was falling over ( he never drank that much) but he was very much intoxicated. I was beside myself that he would even drink since nothing happened or gave me a real reason to drink. He has so many signs that he body is starting to rejecting him drinking that he body hurts and when he drinks the depression that comes over him is just so hard, it effects his judgement and he does and says things that are hurtful. He will stop women on the streets and ask them for the number and he will search people out when he is alone (ex-girlfriends) and it is hard to sit back and see this. I know he loves me and I know he wants the help but I can't force him to go. Everything that I read about this and the more people I talk to about this they all say the same thing, " HE HAS TO BE WILLING TO GO AND GET THE HELP" that I should not give me an ultimatum cause that will just make it worse and push him to drink. My family has a history of alcoholism and I have seen firsthand what it can do to family and loved ones and even close friends. I myself am a social drinker and like to have a nice glass of wine or a cold beer once in a while but I do not need it. I tell him all the time that he his strong enough to do this and QUIT the DRINK but my words fall on def ears. He tells me all the time that he would never let someone hurt me and but in the same turn he is hurting me. How can I make it clear to him that he needs to stop hurting me. I mean he does not hit me but he says things something the next morning that i am enabling him to drink. Or when he is drinking and he is finished drinking that I am weak and I am not helping him. I have told him to keep a diary and write in this diary what it is that makes him drink and to ask God to give him the strength. Maybe this time with me pleading with him to get help he will get it. Sorry for making this long but I have no one to talk as someone who is trying to help him and reading all about it and learning more about this is what is helping me. Thank you listening to me and maybe he will get the help he needs now and longs for. I know that he can do this. I know he is strong but at the sometime I am scared... Hello, I have been in search for some answers on trying to help my husband to stop drinking. It has been very hard.. He keeps on telling me that it is in his DNA to drink since his estranged father was an alcoholic. He says that is why he drinks but he has never really meet his dad. He goes by stories that is told to him by this mother. We have been together for two years now and I have been trying so hard to tell him that he needs help but to no success. He says that he can beat this on his own and that he does not need the help. He can go days something weeks for not drinking but then for no reason will drink or look for a reason to drink. It is killing me inside since I am in the medical field and I know the damage that it does to the body in whole. the other night I had to go to work and when I came home the liqueur that was in the house was gone. He was not drunk to the point where was falling over ( he never drank that much) but he was very much intoxicated. I was beside myself that he would even drink since nothing happened or gave me a real reason to drink.
He has so many signs that he body is starting to rejecting him drinking that he body hurts and when he drinks the depression that comes over him is just so hard, it effects his judgement and he does and says things that are hurtful. He will stop women on the streets and ask them for the number and he will search people out when he is alone (ex-girlfriends) and it is hard to sit back and see this. I know he loves me and I know he wants the help but I can’t force him to go. Everything that I read about this and the more people I talk to about this they all say the same thing, ” HE HAS TO BE WILLING TO GO AND GET THE HELP” that I should not give me an ultimatum cause that will just make it worse and push him to drink.
My family has a history of alcoholism and I have seen firsthand what it can do to family and loved ones and even close friends. I myself am a social drinker and like to have a nice glass of wine or a cold beer once in a while but I do not need it. I tell him all the time that he his strong enough to do this and QUIT the DRINK but my words fall on def ears.
He tells me all the time that he would never let someone hurt me and but in the same turn he is hurting me. How can I make it clear to him that he needs to stop hurting me. I mean he does not hit me but he says things something the next morning that i am enabling him to drink. Or when he is drinking and he is finished drinking that I am weak and I am not helping him.
I have told him to keep a diary and write in this diary what it is that makes him drink and to ask God to give him the strength. Maybe this time with me pleading with him to get help he will get it.
Sorry for making this long but I have no one to talk as someone who is trying to help him and reading all about it and learning more about this is what is helping me.
Thank you listening to me and maybe he will get the help he needs now and longs for. I know that he can do this. I know he is strong but at the sometime I am scared…

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