Reconstructing Rick is a blog told from the mind of a newly recovering drug addict who’s been through the trenches of hell itself and has managed to escape.
Rick is a friend I met here online [through Entrecard] and became a friend when I saw a kindred spirit of light and honesty in his writings. His story is amazing, with his site’s byline reading, “An Addict Trying to Recover.” He doesn’t have a clue I am reviewing his site, but he will. :)
In a simple to read format with plain language, Rick shares his experiences from the past – Why he got into drugs, how he got into drugs, what kind of drugs, and with some sexual exploitation and harsh abuses thrown in for extra heartache for the reader – as well as the current goings on in his mind and world as he searches for his reconstruction through recovery.
Whether you’re an addict or alcoholic or eating disordered or sex addict or simply a *normie,* reading Reconstructing Rick will definitely be a practice in empathy and compassion as you follow along with his words for a glimpse into his former life as well as how he is attempting a reconstruction of himself today…
From Memories of Being Sold (Clean Time: 25 days)…
I’ll never forget the day I decided to run away from home. I was 15 years old and a pretty good looking kid. It was in chicago and I was home alone. I knew that my father would be home in a few hours. I stood looking out the window and although I was not crying, tears was rolling down my cheeks. I feared yet again being abused and the thought that in a few hours I would again suffer was simply too heavy on my heart. This time, I decided to run instead of take it once more.
From I Still Miss My Abuser (Clean Time: 23 Days)…
It was me. I am attracted to people that like weak people like me. I just hope that I can find some wonderful woman or man that is truly wonderful and not like the above that I could spend the rest of my days with. I promise what you will get is someone who will love you beyond your wildest imagination. That was not an invitation for more people to victimize me…so please don’t because I simply cannot tell the good apples from the bad.
From I am my Own Anti-Christ (Clean Time: 22 Days)…
Now let’s get something clear from the beginning, this blog is not about religion or talking about God all the time. NA is not about religion… all they ask is that you have a desire to stay clean. Not that you are not using, that you just have the desire to stop. Then at some point they want you to think that there is a power greater then you that can help you. That’s not hard actually because being jailed is a power greater than me and could help me stop. So a higher Power does not mean God to all people. For me it does but not to others so don’t get all freaky on me okay?
These are just a few snippets of his blog, but enough I hope you would want to visit and offer your support to my new friend Rick. He is in a 12 step program, as he alludes to in the recent snippet [Narcotics Anonymous] so invariably he will share some 12 step related principles and modalities. This should be no problem for those of you who don’t care for 12 step ideology because, from what I have read, Rick is simply sharing his own experience, his strength, and his hope.
I don’t review a lot of blogs because not so many fit in with what I share and write about and not very many touch me in that deep place but this one did. Rick speaks of truth to me; From one recovering person to another I understand his pain, I understand his hope.
I may not be able to identify the depths of hell his life seemed to collide and intertwine with, because I never travelled to those depths – being an alcoholic – myself BUT. As we say in Alcoholics Anonymous, “Identify. Don’t Compare.” and this means I look for identification with those parts I do relate to, instead of looking for those items that somehow make me *better or higher or different.*
What I identify with is the slave mentality. The victimization. The being owned by the power of an external substance. I identify with having to make choices between misery or depravity and choosing depravity using a substance as the crutch…Somehow feeling vindicated that at least I was not *in misery.* But then I identify with the depravity turning into misery when the crutch of an external substance [mine was alcohol and Rick’s was cocaine & meth] was no longer working for me but instead, colluding against me.
A first-hand accounting of anyone’s experiences that brought them into hell and then an escape from it, inspires me. It inspires me because I have been there. It inspires me because I continually look for the denominator that all of us “escapees” must possess in order to escape. I am intrigued because not all people escape; Some physically die in the grips of it, while others wish for death in the grips of it.
Drug addiction or alcoholism – as well as any other dis-ease, “ism,” or addiction that has a stronghold over our spirits, minds, emotions, or bodies – is often a one-way ticket to hell for many people. Yet, there is a way out that has worked for hundreds and thousands of others in the form of 12 Step Recovery. Rick shares his story. I share mine. And in the middle of them both – there is one central idea: You, too, can recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
I’ll be following Rick’s journey. I hope you do too.
Reconstructing Rick: An Addict Trying to Recover