Comments on: Release from the Opinions of other People

by: Nicky

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:36:02 +0000

I appreciate your thoughts and I thank Source for the opportunity to have an open, honest conversation about these issues albeit over the internet.  I think it fosters growth for all involved and that is what we all strive for in the end. That being said, I agree with you to a certain extent but I do understand that there is a certain sensitivity that needs to be used in situations like these. I speak from a different point of view based on my experiences of being surrounded by African Americans virtually all of my life. I know plenty of educated African Americans that would be highly offended by the use of that word. I remember when the “niggardly scandal” broke out in 1999 where David Howard got fired for using the word in a predominantly African American setting. I talked to many educated (assuming you’re talking about a formal education equating to holding a bachelor’s degree or above) African Americans about it. Although many people differed on what Mayor Williams’ response should have been, no one differed on the notion that it was a “loaded” word for many African Americans (educated or not) and should not have been used especially in a predominantly African American setting and especially when there are many other words available in this vast English language to effectively get his point across. I do appreciate and value your article and I am not writing this to change your opinion but rather to show you another view point.
Thank you for your moving, thought provoking articles.

by: samsara

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 02:27:03 +0000

Thanks Nicky! And I can hazard which example also I think. :\

[I did debate over whether to use that example.]

Yes, however, these incidents are based in my real life and [usually] made into hyperbole, that particular example - niggardly - is a real one.

I ended up using it because I think it germane that we don’t begin hindering our vocabulary based on others’ ignorance; Especially when the point of the article is to take nothing personally. :)

However. There will be people who do choose to take things/everything personally because they are angry to begin with.

Thanks for your thoughts Nicky.
I hope you stop by again soon.

by: Nicky

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:22:32 +0000

I enjoyed reading your article. Even though I had some major probelms with one of the examples you listed, I thought overall it was encouraging and effective in getting the points across

by: samsara

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 03:31:44 +0000

I missed your comment John. God how I can relate with that! [With not even particularly caring for the people we want to like us.]

You know I have a theory? I think it’s the ego. I do. I think the ego likes the challenge so that when these people continue to not like us it hurts more and more and bothers us more and more. [Our ego is raging you see.]

Meantimg the *real* us…deep inside who walks with our highest good and walks with integrity and compassion and love doesn’t care for that person at all because IT [our highest self] *sees* that their ego is the one trying to hurt us!

Therefore our highest self is minding its own business while our ego is still seeking *their* ego’s approval. Just another reason why I am convinced the “ego” is what the Bible refers to as “Satan.” [The lowest form of our self…not really our *self* but masquerading as our *self.*]

Wow. Sorry that was wordy. I’m wrapping up an article on “What People think of Me is None of My Business” and feeling stoked.

Thanks John! :)

by: John

Sun, 25 May 2008 03:25:53 +0000

In answer to your opening questions - Yes. Yes. Yes. And the thing that REALLY makes no sense is that I don’t even like these people that I so want to like ME!

Just found you place and I likey. : ) And I know a thing or two about samsara.

I’ll be back.

Peace. : )

by: Michael

Thu, 22 May 2008 21:39:55 +0000

It used to stress me a lot when I was young. Got a little wiser now, though. :)

by: Wenbin

Wed, 14 May 2008 06:23:52 +0000

Hi, thanks for your comments on my blog. I replied my thoughts to it already.

http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/05/establishing-effective-communication.html

I see that the content of your blog is of high quality too. Great job!!! :)

by: samsara

Mon, 12 May 2008 09:07:03 +0000

Ah la familia! The bonds that bind and strangle. I feel you Olivier. It’s very hard to not take them personally from family [particularly] and for me, not so much because I love them more, but because - it seems - they are the closest to me and know my weaknesses more. So it seems that in [verbally] slapping me around - they could have more of a picnic with it. ;)

Thank Gods, though, they usually choose *not* to.

But there again, my responsibility comes in when I know that we have more history together. So i try to show deference in not taking their words personally - as I would do with a casual friend or someone else I don’t have as much history with you know?

My family doesn’t need to be punished by my holding them to some “higher” standard of behavior when they’re human just like every body else. I say this because I know I used to. I used to hold them to a higher caliber of “gentleness” with me - knowing how highly sensitive I am. But…they don’t deserve it. They have problems and realities of their own.

Here’s to families!

Gotta love ‘em. Who else would? ;)

by: Olivier

Sun, 11 May 2008 19:34:04 +0000

Not taking hard words personal is indeed a goal of mine. It is easy with some people, but when my family members do it, I still tend to explode (or implode).
A noble cause and definitely something to fight for.

Olivier

by: samsara

Sat, 10 May 2008 18:47:13 +0000

Thanks for letting me know… Sometimes time is the remedy. Other times, feedburner has not been a friend to me. I am going to see what I can do and I appreciate your letting me know Sandra. I’m going to adjust some settings.

[Sorry my RSS is failing. Hopefully I will not take this as an indication of my worth as a human. ;)]