Comments on: Sober without Alcoholics Anonymous

by: rick

Sun, 25 Sep 2011 20:56:13 +0000

it says in the big book ,few have recoverd on there own.
there is GOD

by: Molly

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 08:02:13 +0000

I’m glad to have found this thread- I’ve been sober for 6 months and going to AA. I did the ‘90 in 90′ and found the fellowship and structure really valuable while making the transition from drinking to not drinking.
Jackie’s comments really resonate with me- I don’t have wreckage in my life from drinking. I turned 40 and went into an existential midlife crisis after a knee injury, felt vulnerable, awareness of mortality, etc., and began praying again after a 5 year hiatus. While re-connecting with prayer and emerging from a depression, I felt done with drinking. ‘Been there, done that.’
A non-negotiable clarity to it.

I sought the fellowship of AA early on, got a sponsor and am doing the work, but Holy Smokes! I’m totally feeling the need for a break from the time/energy drain of AA-
I want to be in life and live rather than talking about it in a basement.
In my opinion, many people define ’sobriety’ as ‘AA’… But I see AA as a tool for sobriety.. along with yoga, exercise, culling healthy relationships, getting sleep, eating well, doing good work in society and at my job.
‘Sobriety’ is a life in balance, and how can I be balanced when the overriding focus is AA rather than living in the connection and groundedness I’ve found in sobriety?
This is a crazy long post.. thanks for reading.. I’m needing clarity after telling my sponsor I took a week off from meetings to tend to other aspects of my life that’ve been neglected- car maintenance, pruning trees, procuring client work, walking my dogs.
She now insists that my behavior is 100% my disease trying to kill me rather than my higher power guiding me to a more balanced state.
AA seems to promote- “Find a higher power but that power better be in freakin’ agreement with the AA agenda or you’re a goner!”
Anyone have experience with this??
-thank you for any insight or reflections!

by: Larry

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 00:00:00 +0000

What makes a sponsor special? Is it necessary to call him/her everyday? Yes, for some; no, for others.

by: kellen

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 14:46:15 +0000

I feel the same about sponsors. I like the meetings, but as soon as I get a sponsor who tells me to call her everyday I stress out. I dread that call, I find it awkward and phony. I am returning to the program after a long binge and I think I will go it alone and see how that feels. I had a year sober in’09 calling my sponsor every day and I was anxious and uncomfortable. Not saying this will be right, I’m just sharing my feelings.

by: jackie

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 17:14:19 +0000

I have been sober for 9 months(by choice). i just got bored with drinking and feeling like shit. I drank because I was bored and I quit because I was bored. Just decided and did it. I have been attending a.a. meetings and i really enjoy them. I believe in my higher power,which I call God and I enjoy a healthy relationship with my God. I am happier than before and plan to stay sober. My problem is with the whole sponsorship. i really don’t feel the need for one. I have tried a few but I just feel like I am going through the motions. i have tried to find and have resentments but, I don’t. My story is also boring, nothing to be ashamed of. I just don’t enjoy my drinking anymore. I love and read my big book daily and I have worked the steps up to 7. I did the first 5 with my sponsor but, now I just feel happier on my own, when she decided she was through with me it was a relief, I was through with her too. I am a happy person with no problems in my life and I really felt like I was trying to create false feelings. Can’t I just be happy to be sober and finish my steps with God? I am 57 and as far as drinking goes I am just so done with it. My spouse has been sober 11 years and is a big support,he has done it without any a.a.. I attend and chair meetings and love the fellowship and new friends. I am just tired of feeling quilty because I don’t want or need a sponsor. One day at a time…life is great, if I am not in crisis and not having any trouble with sobriety why the sponsor. I have plenty of people to call if I ever feel the need. Thanks for any in put. loving god, life and sobriety… Jackie

by: samsara

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 21:07:32 +0000

It’s the Steps that enables one to meet their Higher Power and it doesn’t have to be “God”; it could be the fact that you’ve worked the Steps and your Highest power is now your Integrity which enables you to stay away from that first drink.

Some people DO believe their Highest power is the Steps so they, too, can be the “God” of your choosing. OR any old G.roup O.f D.runks … :)

by: ken

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 05:31:56 +0000

Pamela; Wow! Good stuff! Sometimes we can get to much AA and taking a short break or doing something else for awhile gives all of the confusing stuff in AA some time to sort itself out in our heads. Later; ken

by: Pamela

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 07:54:35 +0000

So I’m confused, is it the steps that gets people sober or a higher power, something has kepts me from ETOH for nearly 4 years and when I got to the part that said god is everything or he is nothing and I chose nothing, we went on and did the steps.I still deny any “higher power” and still resent the church of my childhood, go to x many meeting a week and yes most aa’s are nuts. Tried to “take a break” and came close to drinking so how can I stay sober w/o aa?

by: samsara

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:10:54 +0000

Thanks Timmy! :)

Great comment Danny and Bob too. You’re right Danny! The sick stuff floating around A.A. is NOT from the book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I think a lot of these cult-speak memes came from the evolution of “group therapy” so that when folks got out of rehab they shared the message from rehab in an A.A. meeting.

No kidding. A couple of weeks ago a guy who had almost a year of A.A. and consequent sobriety said, “It says in the Big Book we’re not supposed to get involved with people our first year sober.”

I said, “No it doesn’t.” He knew to defer to my wisdom so he got a puzzled look and said, “Really?” We spoke after the meeting and I expressed my theory on that one too. ‘More rehab and detox suggestions that have infiltrated ‘alleged’ A.A. suggestions.”

Any of you guys seen 28 Days with Sandra Bullock…and the whole “Have a plant and keep it alive before you engage a relationship?” Yeah. Well. Again. She wasn’t in A.A. She was in rehab. :)

Great thoughts from everybody.

JUST remember, too… All it takes is one person in a meeting who knows the Traditions; One person in a meeting who knows the Big Book; Just ONE person can change the flavor of a meeting.

Yeah it gets tiring when you actually go there for help and sickness abounds…so if you could find HEALTHY meetings to take from the bucket of and then go to these sick meetings and try to help them…

Ot hell. Start a blog and bitch about everything wrong with the damn sick meetings. LOLOLOL…You’ll always find Google searches of people coming to your blog looking for remedies.

Keep coming back!

by: Timmy

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 06:48:57 +0000

Now with you I don’t mind associating! A voice calm speaks out from beyond the superlative world of AA. I’ve gotten some good out of it for sure but now I feel like I am being sucked into a worm hole of piety. You said: “…particulary sick meetings…”-there are too many really bent people there.