Comments on: It’s All About Me! I am the Most Important Person! http://samsara.ihostyou.com/the-most-important-person/ Embracing the Journey Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:06:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.6 by: samsara http://samsara.ihostyou.com/the-most-important-person/#comment-954 Wed, 15 Nov 2006 19:59:15 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/the-most-important-person/#comment-954 Mon - I wanted say something else mainly for myself. So I could see it in black and white. As selfish as it sounds to put ourselves first <i>[or to say it out loud that we put ourselves first]</i>, you are EXACTLY on target and you phrased it nicely: "I am happy to say that now that I do for myself and put me first, I don’t expect anything in return when I do for others. Because I know, I’ll be taking care of myself. If someone else does too, it’s a bonus! " So if you'll forgive my paraphrase. :-) If we go around putting others first and expecting them to fill our buckets and they don't, then where are we? Last or close to it? But when we put ourselves first by taking care of those wants and needs we had previously expected others to take care of, then guess what? We're much better suited, then, to offer of ourselves withOUT expectation or hope of anything in return. When this happens, I am not only NOT miserable, but I no longer will have premeditated resentments...I'll be glad to do for others...AND because I have more of a self to create with, I can be even of MAXIMUM service to others. People pleasers are good for a few episodes of perceived goodness. After that I envision them pouting in their house and getting more and more fuel to anger themselves with. Even worse, I imagine them then kicking the kids, treating the spouse badly and spreading their non-realized expectations to others by way of anger. In another week they do more for other people trying to overcome last week and then guess what? It starts again. They wonder what's wrong. They begin to hate God and wonder why nothing is ever good enough? I know about this. When I put myself first I am showing God I will take care of the gift I have...the gift of my life that God has blessed me with. THEN, can I offer my hand to those in need. When I am grateful of the life that God has blessed me with and actively show it <i>for example by #!) Taking a nap when I need to #2) Getting quiet when I need to #3) Saying No when I need to and Yes when I need to </i> then not only can I be an example of those around me, but I'll have a positive and authentic message for others. <b>I'll be bringing an authentic me to the relationship...to the world.</b> I believe that as long as I put others before myself, not only does God not have room to work in their <b>life</b> [ie, they begin to place dependence upon me or others], but that I am telling God that the gift God gave <b>me</b> is not worth taking care of. Mon - I wanted say something else mainly for myself. So I could see it in black and white.

As selfish as it sounds to put ourselves first [or to say it out loud that we put ourselves first], you are EXACTLY on target and you phrased it nicely:

“I am happy to say that now that I do for myself and put me first, I don’t expect anything in return when I do for others. Because I know, I’ll be taking care of myself. If someone else does too, it’s a bonus! ”

So if you’ll forgive my paraphrase. :-)

If we go around putting others first and expecting them to fill our buckets and they don’t, then where are we? Last or close to it? But when we put ourselves first by taking care of those wants and needs we had previously expected others to take care of, then guess what? We’re much better suited, then, to offer of ourselves withOUT expectation or hope of anything in return.

When this happens, I am not only NOT miserable, but I no longer will have premeditated resentments…I’ll be glad to do for others…AND because I have more of a self to create with, I can be even of MAXIMUM service to others.

People pleasers are good for a few episodes of perceived goodness. After that I envision them pouting in their house and getting more and more fuel to anger themselves with. Even worse, I imagine them then kicking the kids, treating the spouse badly and spreading their non-realized expectations to others by way of anger. In another week they do more for other people trying to overcome last week and then guess what? It starts again.

They wonder what’s wrong. They begin to hate God and wonder why nothing is ever good enough? I know about this.

When I put myself first I am showing God I will take care of the gift I have…the gift of my life that God has blessed me with. THEN, can I offer my hand to those in need. When I am grateful of the life that God has blessed me with and actively show it for example by #!) Taking a nap when I need to #2) Getting quiet when I need to #3) Saying No when I need to and Yes when I need to then not only can I be an example of those around me, but I’ll have a positive and authentic message for others.

I’ll be bringing an authentic me to the relationship…to the world.

I believe that as long as I put others before myself, not only does God not have room to work in their life [ie, they begin to place dependence upon me or others], but that I am telling God that the gift God gave me is not worth taking care of.

]]> by: samsara http://samsara.ihostyou.com/the-most-important-person/#comment-167 Thu, 31 Aug 2006 03:20:44 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/the-most-important-person/#comment-167 I love you girls! Thanks for being so gracious and Mon...you just keep rocking on sister friend! I love you girls! Thanks for being so gracious and Mon…you just keep rocking on sister friend!

]]> by: Rivurgurl http://samsara.ihostyou.com/the-most-important-person/#comment-156 Fri, 25 Aug 2006 02:21:34 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/the-most-important-person/#comment-156 Thanks you are such a wonderful resource and an inspiration! Thanks you are such a wonderful resource and an inspiration!

]]> by: Mon http://samsara.ihostyou.com/the-most-important-person/#comment-155 Wed, 23 Aug 2006 14:02:51 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/the-most-important-person/#comment-155 Amen! It's hard having been codependant myself, to put myself before others. It's not to say that I don't ever forgoe my own needs for those of others, but primarily I'm most important. I've learned that through self love, I'm able to love others better as well. I can say that people pleasers tend to not be happy on the inside. I was always wondering why people don't do for me the way I do for them. That was definatly not a good time in my life. I am happy to say that now that I do for myself and put me first, I don't expect anything in return when I do for others. Because I know, I'll be taking care of myself. If someone else does too, it's a bonus! Amen! It’s hard having been codependant myself, to put myself before others. It’s not to say that I don’t ever forgoe my own needs for those of others, but primarily I’m most important. I’ve learned that through self love, I’m able to love others better as well. I can say that people pleasers tend to not be happy on the inside. I was always wondering why people don’t do for me the way I do for them. That was definatly not a good time in my life. I am happy to say that now that I do for myself and put me first, I don’t expect anything in return when I do for others. Because I know, I’ll be taking care of myself. If someone else does too, it’s a bonus!

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