Comments on: Words Can Harm. Words Can Heal. [Epilogue] http://samsara.ihostyou.com/words-can-harm-and-heal-7/ Embracing the Journey Mon, 21 May 2012 10:26:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.6 by: samsara http://samsara.ihostyou.com/words-can-harm-and-heal-7/#comment-943 Tue, 14 Nov 2006 03:10:25 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/words-can-harm-and-heal-7/#comment-943 <i>The words, labels, and descriptions that people might throw at us don’t hurt at all unless we believe the meaning behind them. </i> That's not true for me and how better if it were true for me. It has hurt a great deal to hear from someone I care about that they think I am ______ . Even if I disbelieved that "________ " about myself it would hurt one of two ways: 1) Either they really think that about me and want me to change something by browbeating me. [Control.] Which shows me they don't think I am good enough as I am. or 2) They may or may not believe it themselves but are <b>trying</b> to hurt me/shock me/insult me with the label or name. I appreciate where your thoughts are regarding the belief in the words, but even if we know the words aren't true...For me, to think I would spend my time with someone who would continually want to throw labels and names onto me - even if no doubt of their untruth - it absolutely would bother me. Perhaps the words themselves would not bother me - and is it ever really the words, or more the thought that they convey? The usage of the words, by whom, and the intent of the words. "You silly! Such a nerd!" vs. "Hey nerd! Nice pants!" The words, labels, and descriptions that people might throw at us don’t hurt at all unless we believe the meaning behind them.

That’s not true for me and how better if it were true for me. It has hurt a great deal to hear from someone I care about that they think I am ______ .

Even if I disbelieved that “________ ” about myself it would hurt one of two ways:

1) Either they really think that about me and want me to change something by browbeating me. [Control.] Which shows me they don’t think I am good enough as I am.

or

2) They may or may not believe it themselves but are trying to hurt me/shock me/insult me with the label or name.

I appreciate where your thoughts are regarding the belief in the words, but even if we know the words aren’t true…For me, to think I would spend my time with someone who would continually want to throw labels and names onto me - even if no doubt of their untruth - it absolutely would bother me.

Perhaps the words themselves would not bother me - and is it ever really the words, or more the thought that they convey? The usage of the words, by whom, and the intent of the words.

“You silly! Such a nerd!” vs. “Hey nerd! Nice pants!”

]]> by: Gary http://samsara.ihostyou.com/words-can-harm-and-heal-7/#comment-942 Mon, 13 Nov 2006 22:17:24 +0000 http://samsara.ihostyou.com/words-can-harm-and-heal-7/#comment-942 Hi Samsara, I like what you are trying to say here about impeccability. However I think there is an important distinction about what actually hurts to be included. The words, labels, and descriptions that people might throw at us don’t hurt at all unless we believe the meaning behind them. It is not the words that have the capacity to hurt us. It is through our own beliefs that we create emotional pain. It is only in believing lies about our self that we create hurt. Labels and symbols of words are only a place that we are tempted to mis-use our faith about our self. When you have the awareness that what someone is saying is just words that apply to their imagined description of you, then you don’t believe them. You have the awareness that they are just describing their version of how they see you. That awareness gives you the immunity from believing their labels. When you don’t believe the words, or the meaning behind the words, there is no hurt. Thank you, Gary van Warmerdam http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com Hi Samsara,

I like what you are trying to say here about impeccability. However I think there is an important distinction about what actually hurts to be included. The words, labels, and descriptions that people might throw at us don’t hurt at all unless we believe the meaning behind them.

It is not the words that have the capacity to hurt us. It is through our own beliefs that we create emotional pain. It is only in believing lies about our self that we create hurt. Labels and symbols of words are only a place that we are tempted to mis-use our faith about our self.

When you have the awareness that what someone is saying is just words that apply to their imagined description of you, then you don’t believe them. You have the awareness that they are just describing their version of how they see you. That awareness gives you the immunity from believing their labels. When you don’t believe the words, or the meaning behind the words, there is no hurt.

Thank you,

Gary van Warmerdam
http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com

]]>